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Brandt's Rants
Twas the night before Christmas, the ED was quiet,
Not a creature was stirring, there wasn’t a riot.
The patients slept soundly, so snug in their cots,
With some having dreams of free vodka shots.
When out rang a noise, the silence was broke.
A priority one is incoming it spoke.
The voice on the phone was all crackled and manic,
Our poor EMS... »
A patient arrives drunk at 3 a.m. with a chief complaint of back pain, toothache, headache, or toe pain. He is allergic to ibuprofen, all non-narcotic medicine, employment, and accountability. He is out of his insulin, inhalers, and hydrochlorothiazide, but he really wants his Vicodin refilled. He normally gets extra-strength Vicodin, 2,000 tablets with 20... »
All people are gifted. In the ED, I see a wide variety of gifts, such as yodeling, knitting, and swearing (mostly swearing). One gift I rarely see is math. As a whole, the U.S. sucks at math. When compared with 33 other nations, the U.S. ranks 25th in math (though first in confidence). Despite this, we expect our drunkest friends to be mathematically... »
Flying immediately after a night shift sounded like a good idea. A quiet flight, a nap on the plane, and escaping the endless winter of Michigan by heading to Florida seemed brilliant.
The trip started well. Once airborne, my 20-month-old daughter and I fell asleep while my wife happily tinkered on her iPod. An hour later, my lovely wife woke me.... »